The Hunt’s put together I think one of the best ways for us as adults to help middle schoolers discover their identity and I wanted to list it here:
1) Prevent premature closure. Avoid using labels such as “You’re no good at math.” We have to keep reminding our children that they are worth infinitely more to God than any evaluation parents or friends pin on them.
2) Expose tweens to various constructive and healthy adult role models.
3) Remember to show joy and pleasure in your life and work and in your adult sexuality.
4) Help kids arrange priorities for their capabilities.
5) Grant recognition by giving honest approval for the things they do well.
6) Screen your own expectations of them. Make sure you are not prompting them toward something that is out of their depth.
7) Reassure them and yourself that adolescence does involve some suffering.
8) Talk about your Christianity. Describe your own life experiences that have brought you to your conclusions.
9) Above all, make sure that during this time period you build up their identity in Christ rather than their identity based on how well they perform.