Book Report - Speaking to Teenagers

Yesterday I spent some time at the local DMV. Well actually I spent a lot of time (5 hrs and 45 min to be exact) and since I had so much time I was able to read my current book a lot. So here is my newest book report really early:

I remember a conversation I had once with a youth sponsor a number of years ago. It went something like this:
Mark – You like to teach a lot of facts to the kids
Sponsor – Yes, they need to know this information
Mark – So is information sharing the most important part of speaking to the kids?
Sponsor – Yes it has to be.
The interesting thing is this sponsor was raising four teenagers, but if you would talk to any of them they would have told you that the most important part of their life with their parent was the relationship that was fostered by the parent. It’s interesting what happens when you put someone in front of a group of kids – they change sometimes. Doug Fields and Duffy Robbins book, “Speacking to Teenagers” really helped me understand why this sponsor was wrong about how he spoke to kids but how right he was on how he was raising his own kids. There is so much more in this book than just what I learned from this sponsor’s life but I’ll limit it to two key thoughts.

The first key thought is something we all must stay focused on if we are to spend any amount of time with teenagers – relationships. “One of the pivotal elements of Christian communication is that it must be more than informational; it must be highly relational.” I love spending time with middle school kids, I desire to know them and to help point them to God’s truth in a practical way. Relationships help the kids and us to discover new things and to have an emotional connection with God’s truth. If I speak to kids in the context of a relationship then the opportunity for them to actually hear what I’m saying and act on what I am saying is much better.

The second key thought I had came when Doug & Duffy explained a strategy on how to prepare for a message and they used an acronym – S.T.I.C.K. This “S” stood for Study and the “T” stood for Think and these two ideas really stood out to me. I have always studied for a message but not in this way. I’m really excited about this idea as I think this will be an easier and more productive way of putting my messages together.

I really liked my sponsor and this sponsor had a heart for the kids, but when it came to speaking to them I didn’t like his way. Doug & Duffy has given me (and anyone who reads this book) a way to be just a little bit more prepared and ready to communicate God’s truth to kids in a way that will help them “get it.”

Easter 2008

Last year my wonderful wife put together an Easter egg hunt for the neighbors (to see pictures click here). This year there is snow on the ground and the temp is below 32 degrees, so no egg hunt for us today. But we do get to go to our off campus worship at 11am today as a family. We haven't been there yet so I'm really excited to see it. This is one of the few times of the year that we ask our daughter to wear a dress - she looks so beautiful.

One last thought of the day of days - "I'm thanking God, who makes things right. I'm singing the fame of heaven-high GOD (Ps 7:17 MSG)."

I hope to have some pictures on later.

Simple Thoughts

It's a relaxing day today and so some thoughts came to me and I wanted to share them.

1) I've been playing starcraft with my son Nathaniel and he is getting good at it. Of course I'm winning our games so far.
2) Went to my first ever good Friday prayer services
3) I love homemade bread and so does my family
4) I admitted to my wife today that I would consider a dog in our home but there would only be one way that we would do that.
5) I'm so looking forward to our good Friday service tonight and our 5 services for Easter.

online - bubble wrap popping - YES!

My friend Mark Forstrom sent this to me. For those days that you just need to do a little stress relief but can't get away from the computer. Online bubble wrap popping - check it out here. Have fun!

Mag report - Group (Mar-Apr 2008)

I'm starting something new today. I read two key magazines that deal with youth ministry on a regular bases (I’ll be adding Groups jr hi magazine to that list soon) but I don't recall much about what I read because I don't write it down or mark up the magazine. Every since I've started doing book reviews for the books I've been reading I'm recalling more and actually applying what I'm reading to my life and ministry. I thought since there seems to be success in my book reading it would be wise for me to do the same with the magazine I'm reading. So here is my short report on the newest Group magazine.

What I liked: The whole theme of this magazine (dealing with conflict) was an excellent choice. Doug Field's interview with Dan Webster was very good. "The door to the Promise Land is learning how to welcome conflict, manage it, and grow through it." this was an excellent thought from Mr. Webster.

???: I really struggled with Greg Stier's article "and when you pray..." I totally agree with Greg that we need to stop "posing" our public prayers and just pray but I struggle with the idea that we have to "believe" that our prayers will be answered for them to be authentic. There are times where we need to come to God weather we believe they will be answered or not but with the idea that God will hear them and do what He knows is best no matter where we are at.

Key statement: In Doug Fields' article "re: petition for repetition" - "Repeat, repeat, and repeat."

Something creative: "Missional being" by Dave Livermore and Steve Argue was something I've never "tried" to read before. Very creative but I don't know if everyone would enjoy it much. Magazine are meet to be (at least in my mind) quick reads. This one wasn't a quick read.

Book Report – Parenting without Perfection By David John Steel, JR

My good friend and mentor Mark Forstrom has recommend only a few books to me in our 5+ year relationship and ever recommendation has been a home run. His next recommendation is a much older book than I have read in a while (published in 2000) and there are some comments in it that dates it but Parenting without Perfection is worth the read. I will comment on one take away and one struggle I had with the book.

First the struggle – the target audience for the book (as the book’s title suggests) is parents of teens. In Part two of the book (The Context of Christian Parenting) Steel lays out a very bleak culture teens are entering. He calls the culture “deathwork” which basically means that the culture has killed God and He is no more. I’m actually not bothered by the definition because I mostly agree. The struggle is how he presented “deathwork” and when he presented it in the book. If this book was written for guys like me (more sociological) then I would have no issue. But since it was written to parents I think many parents would have a panic attack with the information of what the culture their kids are going into. It is way to concentrated at the beginning of the book and I think it would turn parents off. I don’t think the material should be different but I do think it needs to be more strategically placed throughout the book to make it much more readable for parents.

My key take away came from the middle of the book which I really enjoyed and totally agreed with. Steel explains that to be a Christian parent we have to take care of our heart in front of our kids. “Parenting is learning to live out the life of Jesus before our children in the totality of our lives.” If we concentrate on what God calls us to be focused on – our heart condition – our kids will be much more open to God’s truth & love. Doug Field’s says, “… you do need a heart that’s tender toward God and open to his leading” in his book “Your First Two Years of Youth Ministry" and this really makes this point clear.

I think this is an excellent book for youth guys/gals to read or youth workers (teachers, etc). But if you are a parent I would skip to the middle of the book and read from there and then go to the front of the book if you want more detail about culture.

I-tunes - party shuffle - part 2

I did this last month and I wanted to keep a monthly run of my music. Again my goal is really to see if I need to open myself up to more music stiles. Here are my next list (hmmm... two of the same songs came up from last months list):

The Little Clownfish From the Reef – Finding Nemo
Soul Force – Arksun – The ultimate Trance Party (3of6)
Cap’n Shakespeare – Ilan Eshkeri – Stardust
The End of All Things – Howard Shore & Renee Fleming – The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Insane – Francesco Zappala – The Ultimate Trance Party (3of6)
…Macking Me Angry – Hulk
Strength and Honor – Gladiator
Bootstrap’s Bootstraps – Klaus Badelt – Pirates of the Caribbean – The Curse of the Black Pearl
Canon In D – Pachelbel – Classical Music
He’s A Pirate – Ship Ahoy Tribal Mix – Chris Joss – Dead Man’s Chest
Breath of Life – Shelia Chandra – The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Rain Must Fall – Yanni – Ultimate Yanni Disc 2

Prayers this last month - Feb 08

This mouths prayers have been wonderful to read again. Again I want to only honor God with the life He has given me and do what is right with His truth He has entrusted to me.

Lord, I want to be all that you want me to be - send me out to where you want me to go and my I never look back.

Lord, open our eyes to see you through easy and hard times. We need you!

Lord, open my eyes to understanding what you have plan for me and may I do it - help me in my life - "line by line."

Lord, open my “heart eyes” to see Jesus in every aspect of my life, for you and you alone are hope.

Lord, help me to never create a squabbling family that disintegrates - my I be a servant leader that humbly serves his home and the ministry you have placed me.

Lord, may I be all you want me to be and may I give you my all.

Lord, may I be a story teller for you to share You.

Lord, may I be a useful tool in your hand - may you find me listening to Your instructions daily.

Lord, may I see your truth played out in my life today.

Lord, open my eyes to your perfect will so I might to my part to honor you.

Lord, my I get it and then lead it your way.

Lord, I'm sorry that I'm so self focused and concerned about myself - open my eyes to You and only You - take everything else away so that the focus of my heart’s eye will be on You.

Lord, my I come to you with a childlike faith for only in this mode am I really useable to you.

Lord, show me where I need to forgive and may I do it quickly.

Lord, my I share with all who will hear that we must put all our trust in you.

Lord, my I not assume anything but have faith in all of you.

Lord, I'm sorry that I do what I want to do - help me to embrace You in all of my life.

Lord, my you find me always seeking after you so you and you alone may be honored.

Lord, open my eyes to "everyone" that you want me to invite to the party.

Lord, I don't fully understand that "all will be with You (Matt. 22:30 MSG)" help my small mind grab what you want me to grab and that will be good enough for me.

Lord, open my eyes and mouth to share your truth because it is truth that lives in my heart not because I'm a literalists.

Lord, my you take the wind out of me so that I might keep a simple life for you.

Lord, may I never ever be a part of the line that spilled "righteous blood."

Lord, return when you are suppose to but my it be soon.

Lord, my you find me ready for you, always.

Lord, I'm sorry for being lazy so often and not staying eager and ready to do what you called me to do. Help me to see you even better today and stay ready.

Lord, my I take responsibility for my actions no matter if they are positive or negative.

Lord, I blow it so often right in front of you. I'm sorry God, forgive me and open my eyes to your truth all the days long.

3rd 8th grade Night

Lesson Topic: In The Beginning...

Attendance: Average

'Fun Factor': Average

Volunteer Involvement: Average

Music: Above Average
Lesson Quality: Above Average

Length of Lesson: 30 min (need to break it up in the middle)

Student Response: Excellent. They girls had the group with them almost the whole time.

Favorite statement of the night: My Great, great, great, great ,great,....Grandmother was bacteria?

Great night by the 8th graders. Really proud of them and what they presented. Sharing about evolution vrs creation is a hard subject but these girls were ready. They did a great job of tying it back with the gospel.

Book Report – Prayer does it make any difference? By Philip Yancey

We do a yearly personal review that covers every aspect of the ministry and personal spiritual growth in each pastor here at NCBC. In the reviews we put together high level goals for the next year. One of my goals was to focus on prayer in my personal life and in the ministry. That goal lead me to pick up Philip Yancey’s book, “Prayer – does it make a difference?” and I’m glad I did.

When I was going to Liberty University I had to read a book by E.M. Bounds on prayer that really changed the way I looked and did prayer. Yancey’s book has moved me to consider the importance prayer really has in life just like Bounds book did. I will limit this review to a key thought and two practical ideas that I want to use in my personal prayer life that I got from Yancey's book.


The key thought is that prayer is God allowing me to be a part of his plan. Yancey put it this way, “I enter into the action begun by another, my creating and saving Lord, and find myself participating in the results of the action.” I often struggle with prayers that aren’t answered and I find myself upset and frustrated. But when I think that God is allowing me to be a part of his plan through a relationship with Him – pray takes on new meaning. In this relationship I can let God see me as I am. “The most important purpose of prayer may be to let our true selves be loved by God.”


One practical idea is to re-write psalms in my own words. This sounds like a huge project but one I would love to do.


The other practical idea Yancey got from the pastor David Mains. It is his recommendations to make sure prayers are on target. I’m going to put them here for me to reference but they are not mine they are David Mains:
1) “What do I really want? Am I being specific, or am I just rambling about nothing in particular?
2) Can God grant this request? Or is it against God’s nature to do so?
3) Have I done my part? Or am I praying to lose weight when I haven’t dieted?
4) How is my relationship with God? Are we on speaking terms?
5) Who will get the credit if my request is granted? Do I have God’s interests in mind?
6) Do I really want my prayer answered? What would happen if I actually did get what I prayed for?”


With this key thought and practical ideas I hope to move my understanding of prayer to a level that I don’t fully understand but fully except God to work in me. This book is a great read and I would recommend it to anyone who is asking the question, “Prayer does it make any difference?”