Better Late then Never

Well the leap day of the leap year is over and we have finally got our 2007 Eades family Newsbrochure done. Don't think of this Newsbrochure as a long newsletter or short newspaper (because it is 16 pages long) but as a short brochure of what has happen in the Eades lives this past year. There are a lot of pictures and a few captions throughout the brochure. It's a very easy, short, but fun read. Enjoy. (note - click on the picture to go to the brochure).

Forgive or be in a strait jacket

I usually don’t talk about the lessons I teach to the kids on this blog but tonight’s lessons was unique and wonderful. I’m using Kurt Johnston's lesson series “Value Pak” and taught on Forgiveness tonight.

What made the night unique was the fact that a correctional officer friend of mine brought in an old straight jacket and put me in it as I was teaching (click on the picture to see a slide show of it).

What was wonderful was the kids got pieces of cloth and tied themselves to another person. I taught that if we don’t forgive others we become in bondage just like we were tied together with another person. And it gets worse as time goes by if we don’t forgive and we become completely consumed by it (like I was in the strait jacket). I asked them pray and seek God for help with forgiving. As a symbol of seeking God they took the pieces of cloth and stapled them to a wood cross. It was a very “remember when..” moment.

A Franciscan Benediction

I'm reading Philip Yancey's book, "Prayer does it make any difference?" I'll explain in my book review why I chose this book to read. But this benediction really struck me and I wanted it here for me (and anyone else) to read it again and again.

A Franciscan Benediction

May God bless you with discomfort…
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships,
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger…
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears…
To shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection,starvation and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them
And turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness… (this is my favorite part)
To believe that you can make a difference in this world.
So that you can do What others claim cannot be done.
Amen

(A Benediction – origin uncertain, described by some as Franciscan)

teens don't mind stealing - kinda

I'm a regular reading of ypulse.com (a teen culture study web site) and thought this article they found very interesting. It seems that teens don't think that illegal downloading of music is a problem and even those who think it is wrong think that the punishment for getting caught downloading shouldn’t be to server (compared to shoplifting for example). Here is the starting line for the article: "Nearly half of all teenagers have no familiarity with copyright laws and don't feel that the same type of punishment is necessary for illegally downloading media from the Internet as other types of theft."

I decided to do a little research myself with my daughter and her basketball team friends (who happen to be over for a hot tub party). I asked them two questions:
1) How many of you download music off the internet? 4 out 5 said they did
2) How many of you would download music if it was free no matter where it came from? 4 out 5 said yes (one girl did say that she wouldn’t if it was a “crappy web site” that would put viruses on her computer).
Very interesting…

I did find this encouraging - "Half of those who said they understood the laws of the land reported that their parents were their main source of information on copyright infringement (65 percent for younger teens)..."

This is a really good read so have a look at it and then let me know what you think.

Valentine's day w/Lindsey

Got a chance to take my daughter Lindsey out for valentine's day. We did basketball practice for her, then she schooled me in miniature golf (see picture for score) at Planet X, and then we did BK with the rest of the family. Simple but fun and more memories for the family to.

Simple Thoughts

Getting ready for another wonderful Wednesday and my mind went to a few things:

1) I have such a wonderful wife and tomorrow I get to celebrate that with her.
2) I'm really looking forward to tonight. It is team group night and I know how much our kids love it.
3) My son Nathaniel is doing so great in the big “K” that I'm 95% sure I want to send him to a private school next year to keep that momentum up for his passion to learn.
4) My son Daniel recently scared me with this statement, "Dad when I grow up I want to be just like you."
5) I love evenings with my family. I asked them the question, "give me a highlight of the day?" and the answers are so fun to hear.

Snow Day at the Eades home

With the big storm that came through central America yesterday all schools were closed and over a foot of snow hit Cedar Rapids. My wife called me about 3 pm and said the kids were outside playing in the snow. I wanted to sneak up on them and start a snow ball fight. After getting home (I only live 90 steps from NCBC where I'm the middle school pastor) I was able to start the fight, but found out that my boys were still inside. Well, that had to change and so a 1/2 hour later I had them outside and we went at it. Even our neighbors dog came out and played. It was a great time with the family. If you would enjoy a short slide show of our snow day please click on the picture.

Book Report – Managing transitions by William Bridges

Kim Pagel (Our Associate pastor here at NCBC) introduced me to this book after I came to staff meeting one day and asked, “do you know of any resources that deals with transition?” I have concluded the life of a middle schooler is a life of transition and that the more I understand transition the more I will be a better middle school youth pastor.
What I read from this book has some huge application for middle school youth, their parents, and anyone (including myself) who work/minister to middle school students.
I’ve decided to go in a different way then I normally do in these book reports. I will present some key points from the book and then some key applications (that I see) to middle school ministry that come from those key points.
First Bridges introduces three key phases of any transitions. First there are endings. Any changes come with endings. The only way change happens is endings happen. Second phase is what he calls the neutral zone. This is where nothing is right. Things just aren’t happening the way the change wants it to happen and yet it is also not happening the way it used to. All change creates neutral zones and neutral zones are chaotic. Then there is beginnings and these are much more than just “starts.” They are the end results of a lot of work through the chaotic time of the neutral zone. All three of these phases don’t happen in a systematic way, one could be going through endings and dealing with the chaotic experiences of the neutral zone or one could be knee-deep in the neutral zone and have some beginnings happen. It isn’t neat and clean - phases by phase experience it is as Kurt Johnston titled one of his book – Controled Chaos (you can read my little book report here on that book).
So here is what I see as possible applications to these phases for middle school ministry. One - we have to realize that we are working with a group of kids and their parents who are going through two of these phases. I would say that we are more dealing with kids going through the end phases of childhood and entering into the neutral zone (what we call “pre-adolescents”) more than being a part of any real new beginnings (which we call “adolescents”). This has huge application in how we handle and even talk with the kids. I remember once being introduced to a new kid by one of my own kids and say, “you know Johnny.. I’ll be praying for you.” The results were devastating for Johnny and I had a hard time rebuilding a relationship with him. Today you will find me saying things like, “you came with Sarah.. you are so lucky” or “anyone who knows David has to be WAY cool!” This is a perfect example of talking with kids who are in the neutral zone.
One other key thought that Bridges brings up is the characteristics that stand out when transition is handled wrong. He calls it the “GRASS” effect:
1) GUILT – people will go through guilt after a transition unless they have a chance to process what they have been through while they are going through it. I don’t think anyone who has worked with middle schoolers long can say that middle schoolers don’t go through some forms of guilt. We must walk with them as they go through this.
2) RESENTMENT – people will resent others for putting them through transition even if the “others” really didn’t do much to cause the transition. So often I’ve talk with a kid who “hates” Johnny because of some change in their relationship that just happened. But as I talked with the kid I’m able to help them understand and process that Johnny didn’t mean to hurt them but that it was part of the changes that relationships go through.
3) ANEXITY – anyone who has had to do any kind of major change gets anxious about it. Middle schoolers are right in the middle of (what I believe) one of the biggest changes they will ever experience in life. Spending time with a kid who just had their first “breakup” or is about to go to their first dance can be very helpful as they process the feelings they have never felt before, which causes them a lot of anxiety.
4) SELF-ABORPTION – When people go through changes they get very self focused. It is almost like a protection for them to make it through the chaotic experience of change. Middle schoolers are egocentric. Then they are put into environments where a lot of changes are happening around them and inside them and you have a very self-absorbed person. Sharing with them verses like Jer. 29:11 and pointing out that God has a plan for them and that plan includes protection and hope can help them get outside of themselves.
5) STRESS – The amount of stress so many people are under is beyond anything that has been experienced on this earth. Put a middle schooler into this media saturated (read Youth Culture 101) and over stimulated environment and you have one stressed out kid. There are times where I like to put the kids into a simple environment where they can feel safe and let their “hair down” and just be middle school kids. I think those environments are absolutely needed for any health middle school ministry.
I’m going to stop there. There is much more in the book (like the 7 stages of changes, 4 P’s to help with transitions, and the importance of building trust during transitions) but I really don’t like long blog post and this one is way too long for me. I’ve got all of these in note form and I’m sure I will call on them often as I continue my simple pursuit to be the best Mark Eades a middle school pastor, father, and husband on this earth.

Prayers this last month - Jan 08

The idea that one month of 2008 is over is a mixed bag of emotions for me. The prayers I have this last month (I think) show that. I hope and pray this last month (and the month to come) will be all about God in your life.

Lord, may I communicate your truth clearly.

Lord, work in our lives so that "wandering" doesn't happen but a gathering does.

Lord, open my eyes to see where I'm sloppy and may I turn that over to you so that I might travel this life's journey totally for you.

God are you telling me something and how do I know what do to? help me Lord!

Lord, may I never be a mud slinger but one who provides the opportunity for a bath.

Lord, where do I need to be refined?

Lord, help me to not just take everyone’s word for fact but keep my mind alert to your truth always.

Lord, if you want (as hard as this is to say) me to go through a "dark time" so that I might totally trust that you will bring "daybreak and the rising of the Morning Star" in my heart, may it be so.

Lord, may I be on the "straight road" to You in everything I do and my I not stop.

Lord, may I be hearing your voice over all the other voice that is calling for my attention. May I "hardly notice" them, but totally notice you.

Lord, may I handle any pressure you decided to put on me to maximize Your glory.

Lord, help me understand not only the easy lessons of Your Word but the hard ones as well. I trust you, help me, PLS!

Lord, make a clean sweep of my sins today, that I might be in the proper place to bring You maximum glory.

Lord, open my eyes to your truth and direction so that I might follow it no matter what the cost.

Lord, work inside me so that I might see you even on the outside.

Lord, open my eyes to the times I'm talking piously and my I stop right there and refocus on you & your truth.

Lord, my I stay humbly before you so that I might know what is really important - what you decide to give and not the world's substitute.

Lord, keep me sensitive to your truth so that it is only your truth and not my whim.

Lord, I am fine being the dog if that is what you want, but may I be the best dog there is.

Lord, open my eyes to see those who need to hear about you, don't let me miss it.

Lord, may you find me desiring you to stay fully in my life - even if my livelihood is lost.

Lord, help me to know when to take "a risk of faith" for your kingdom.

Lord, open my eyes to the hurt of my kids. May I be a tool in your hands to heal those hurts.

Winter Retreat 2008

Well the winter retreat has come and gone and WOW!! was it awesome. Check out a little slide show (ok it isn't little - 200+ pics) by clicking on the pic.
Steve C. (the youth pastor at elevate.912) was our speaker and he did an awesome job of share where to "find my ID."
The worship band - made up of mostly NCBC Sr Hi kids (past and present) - totally ROCKED! Thanks to all of you and the awesome sponsors of IMPACT who just loved on the kids. There is another jewel in your crown today.